Bringing in the New Year with One More On the Way!

Happy New Year everyone! And can I just say, thank god it's finally 2019. Not that 2018 was a terrible year. It's just that with my pregnancy brain, I've been signing every paper and check I write with 2019 this past month and my poor husband had to keep correcting me. Whoops!

Last year was quite a year for us. 80% of it is a complete blur to be honest but the truth is, I left the year feeling like our lives are finally heading onto the right path. We experienced some big changes, especially in the latter part of the year when we made the decision after the Woolsey Fire to close our restaurant. It was not an easy decision by any means, but a necessary one. Both financially and mentally. The fires and evacuations made it financially impossible for us to reopen, but at the end of the day, having a mental break from the stress of running a business has truly been a breath of fresh air. I feel like after years of holding my breath, I have finally been able to breath again. My writer's block also feels lifted suddenly. I'm finally writing songs again and I sat down to write this blog which I haven't done in such a long time.

Life post restaurant has involved my husband for the very first time since I've known him, working a 9-5 job, and I must say, having him home every single night to play with our son is the highlight of my day; even if right now I have to escape upstairs at 5pm every night to avoid gagging from the smell of food in the house. Yay pregnancy. However, I get to hear the endless giggles coming from downstairs and enjoy the perks of them playing "Ghost" before bedtime. Bailey runs into our room screaming "Daddy Ghost!! Daddy Ghost!!" and Gwith makes spooky "oooooo" sounds from down the hall. Bailey cuddles me as tightly as possible as he pretends to be terrified of "Daddy Ghost". It's the cutest game and it's my favorite way to end the day.

Now onto the details about these past few months of pregnancy because after holding it in for three months, I'm just dying to share!

Last year we were in New Zealand when I found out the wonderful news I was pregnant with our second baby. I waited the entire day to tell Gwith the news (which was such a struggle since I hate holding in secrets! Plus Gwith was asking me for days prior if I had taken the test yet!), but that evening, we took Bailey to dinner at Kabuki, the restaurant Gwith and I first met at. When we sat down, I made a toast. I said to Gwith, "To Kabuki. If it weren't for this restaurant, there wouldn't be four of us sitting here today." Gwith looked at me like I was severely confused and said, "No...three." I smiled at him and said, "No, four." The smile that came across his face was wonderful as he realized what I was telling him.

Family Dinner at Kabuki in Stamford Plaza, Auckland

It was impossible to keep it a secret from Gwith's family in New Zealand, as I had already begun having cravings and aversions. The worst craving I had was for bubble gum. You might be wondering why that was the worst craving. I'll tell you. Apparently they don't sell bubble gum in New Zealand...except for the American store that we had to drive out to just to satisfy my craving! Gwith kept getting brand after brand of "bubble" gum, but none of them were bubble gum flavored. They just made bubbles. Obviously, I wasn't having any of that. Unfortunately, my bubble gum craving was also the door to announcing I was pregnant to my brother-in-law's sister. After a family barbecue, she came over to the car to give me a hug goodbye and saw about 15 different types of gum stashed on the side. Either I came clean about my pregnancy or I would've forever been the weird woman with the biggest gum addiction known to mankind. Of course, my first response when she asked about the gum was to sound like a gum addict who needed to go to Gumaholics Anonymous: "Yeah...you know...I just really like gum..." Awkward silence. I couldn't last more than two seconds before spilling the beans after that. There was really no going back. Over the rest of the trip, and since we've been home, if we saw friends or family, we had to tell them I was pregnant. My food aversions were already so strong that it was impossible to hide!

About a month later, after my first doctor's appointment, we told Bailey the news! He yelled out a big "Yayyyyy!!!" and jumped up and down with excitement. Now, every single night he cuddles and kisses my belly and says "I love you baby. Goodnight baby." Even better, I felt the baby's first flutters a few days ago right after Bailey said goodnight to my belly. A mother couldn't ask for more. It's amazing to see the bond he already has with the baby and I'm so excited for him to meet his new sibling this July. He told our friend Sarah that he wants a sister...so I guess time will tell!

Big Brother Bailey is Getting Promoted July '19!

Pregnancy with a toddler around is definitely a different experience than my first pregnancy was. Bailey has been a real champ most days letting me rest (or he's just enjoying his endless Curious George marathon and milking it for all that its worth...). Gwith has been a complete lifesaver and to be perfectly honest, I don't know how Bailey would've been fed if Gwith was still at the restaurant every evening! By night time, my sense of smell is so bad that everything makes me sick and I can't be near any food...which means, Gwith has been preparing Bailey's dinners every single night. The first trimester is coming to a close and I thankfully feel the tide turning, albeit slowly. I finally ate out for lunch yesterday and had an actual meal! Hopefully soon I'll be able to smell food again inside the house so Gwith won't have to keep leaving just to eat dinner. I feel so bad. I've forbid him from eating in the house, sleeping in our bed (yes, his breath even with minty fresh toothpaste breath was grossing me out! Sorry babe!), and using most of the bathrooms in our house. Seriously, my husband is my hero for putting up with me these past few months. It has been a real treat. He finally got to sleep in our bed again last night though so I'm excited that while we didn't kiss at midnight since we were both fast asleep, we did finally share a bed again without me gagging! This year is already starting out great, huh? Unfortunately, I have developed an aversion to the word kitchen and even looking in the direction of our kitchen. And no, this isn't the same as my usual aversion to cooking in there! I'm praying that this aversion goes away very soon because I really can't keep avoiding looking in that direction of the house. Plus, I know Gwith misses cooking already and would love to mess around with some recipes and work on his plans to write a cookbook!

I do feel like this baby is my food soulmate though. Cravings so far have included all of my old favorites including fruit roll ups (which my mom craved when pregnant with me!), strawberry cheesecake, caramel apples, meringues, and cheese dipped in honey. If I could design my dream dessert platter when I'm not pregnant, that would pretty much be it (minus my childhood favorite, fruit roll ups--I don't really need those on my platter as an adult!). Throw on some S'mores and I'd be set. Sadly this baby does seem to hate the thought of chocolate so far so S'more might be where our differences begin.

Happy Holidays from Our Growing Family!

I will be curious to see what this baby's personality and tastes are. Bailey is pretty true to my cravings and aversions. Most of the foods I craved with him are his favorite foods. He likes a variety of music and during my pregnancy with him, I didn't mind listening to most music. This baby is very offended by Gwith's rap music and I actually get nauseous when I hear it! It's a big Taylor Swift fan though, so my music library has been getting lots of play! I also got very nauseous from the smell of paint with Bailey and other then typical nesting feelings, I didn't feel too artsy throughout that pregnancy...and Bailey is definitely not the artsy type, at least not at 3! This time around, I'm pulling out the paint brushes and painting boxes for Bailey! It's like something in side of me is craving arts and crafts. It could be a coincidence because my stress levels are down since closing the restaurant (and I've always loved arts and crafts!), or it could be this baby is already craving the arts. Either way, Gwith may get lucky and I may actually help him paint the nursery this time around!

I'm excited for what 2019 has in store for us! Lots of adventures, much needed family time, and a whole new person entering our lives this July! I hope I can finally get back into blogging more frequently again...at least until July rolls around! With Bailey starting pre-school in one week, I'll finally have two mornings a week free for some quality me time! I'm sure the first few weeks, I'll be frantically trying to cram in everything I've wanted to do for so long, which will result in absolutely none of it getting done! From picking favorite photos from the last two years for an album, editing Bailey's videos, writing songs, writing blogs...or just playing a computer game and zoning out the world for a few hours! It's going to be a hard choice! Or I'll just be sitting on the floor, pregnant and hormonal, crying over my little boy being off to pre-school for the very first time. I'm guessing that will be the most likely scenario. Wish me luck! :)

I also sincerely hope this blog was coherent and not just a big pregnancy-brain ramble!

Go. Go. Go. (Because No Matter What, You Have to Try)

It's been over a year since I wrote a blog on here. It's amazing how fast time moves by. I'm not even sure what I'm planning to write about right now. Part of that may be because I'm sick with a cold and have brain fog, but I think part of it is that there is just too much going on that it's overwhelming and hard to focus on one particular idea.

On the home front, our son is two years old now. He's becoming such a wonderful and intelligent little boy. I couldn't be prouder. His vocabulary is still minimal but he at least has some useful words going for him: "go" seems to be his favorite go-to whenever he wants something. He gets behind me like I'm a train and says "go go go" to lead me wherever he wants to go. He also learned to say "no" a week after turning two. It's amazing how quickly that word happens! I'm particularly grateful he learned the word "bye" on his birthday. Albeit, he said it to a fountain at the Westlake Promenade, but he said it. At least now when our friends leave, he says "bye" instead of "go! go! go!".

Our son on the "go" during his two year photo shoot

Watching him every day reminds me of how carefree life could be. Yet, at the same time, it reminds me that no matter what age you are, things are never easy, and you always think it was easier when you were younger. But that's not really true, is it? No matter how small the situations we used to face seem to us, in comparison to what we're going through now, it was probably just as stressful at the time. When our son throws himself down on the floor over not getting anymore raisins (or a third apple for the day!), I'm sure, in that moment, it's the end of the world for him. It's the most stressful thing he's ever experienced in his life. The difference is, as a two year old, he throws his fit, he cries, and screams, and ten minutes later, he's forgotten about it. He's moved on. It happens time and time again, whether he's refused something or he gets rambunctious and runs straight into a wall accidentally (which he didn't even cry about and I still don't know how!).

The most notable time was when we first moved into our new house. It's two stories and our son had never dealt with stairs before. Our first full day in the house, he decided to try walking down the stairs. And he fell. My heart leaped from my chest in that moment. I caught him halfway down the stairs. He had a bump on his head. He cried. And yet, fifteen minutes later he was running around the house playing as usual and a half hour later, he was crawling back up and down the stairs without fear. (He hasn't tried to walk down since and has become very proficient on them!). I, on the other hand, still hold my breath, two months later, every time I watch him go near the stairs.

So, here's the real question.

At what age did we stop learning to move on? At what age did we decide we needed to stress all day long, otherwise we'd never find a solution for our problems? It happens subconsciously...and I'm sure there are people out there who know how to deal with their stress that this doesn't apply to. However, for the rest of us, I feel like we spend our days floundering going over the many missteps we took and pondering over how to correct them.

As a restaurant owner, I know this is a problem both my husband and I deal with. We spend days, weeks, months...at this point, years, trying to figure out reasons for anything that's gone wrong. Some days, like last night, we're busy. Not just busy. We were packed. But other days, it seems like the entire world is staying home. That may be the most confusing part of all. What makes people decide one night or one week to all come out but then spend days or weeks never coming by? Are we forgotten about? Is our menu not diverse enough? Does our aesthetics lack? Is our service not up to par? Do we need more advertising? How do locals still not know we exist after three years?

Going around from table to table, we constantly get praised on our restaurant. On how perfect everything is. But it often feels like we're still missing something, because if we truly were perfect, we should be busy all the time. Right?

My husband and I took a trip to New York City at the end of September for our anniversary vacation. Actually, we drove from Nashville to Niagra Falls to New York City, but that's a whole other story! The point is, our experience in NYC was eyeopening. At every restaurant we went to (even a 3.5 star Yelp rated restaurant...which is not the same as 3.5 star in Los Angeles) we had tasty food, gorgeous aesthetics, and impeccable service. Their service standards at a 3.5 star restaurant where better than most 4+ star restaurants in Los Angeles. From there, we experienced two Michelin star restaurants: The Musket Room (which is the only other New Zealand fine dining restaurant in the USA) and Le Bernardin, the top restaurant in NYC and voted #2 in the world. At The Musket Room, we dined in a rustic fine dining space, similar in size to our own but full of personality. It was inviting, intimate, and instantly set off romantic vibes in your head. Brick walls gave off the old New York vibe, completed with soffit lighting and rustic wood paneling on the ceiling. When we arrived, the host stood at a music stand by the entrance. Once seated, we were handed our custom menus for our set menu, complete with a wax seal. Our server was constantly waiting on us, bringing our wine pairings and explaining them to us. He was knowledgable and friendly. The food was delicious, and Gwith truly felt like he was back in New Zealand by some of the flavors that Matt Lambert showcased.

When we went to Le Bernardin, it was at a different level than we've ever experience in our entire life. Upon arrival, Gwith had to get a suit jacket because jackets are required inside the restaurant. We sat in the cocktail lounge, waiting for our table, and took a look at the cocktail list. Gwith quietly mentioned to me, "I don't have my glasses," as it's hard for him to read a menu without them. Low and behold, the host walks up next to him with a box of temporary reading glasses in three different prescriptions. Wow. Mind blown. After we ordered our cocktails, we were escorted to our table where I was provided a stool to set my purse on. The aesthetics were nice, with wood paneling and lighting accents throughout. I definitely preferred The Musket Room's rustic feel. Although the check was ironically higher at The Musket Room (albeit it's family owned so it makes complete sense!), it felt like anyone could dine there for a romantic evening out. Le Bernardin you could tell was meant for only the wealthiest of New York City. To clarify that statement though, the service was not snobbish in any way. It just felt like Chuck Bass's father could be at a nearby table having a billion dollar business meeting. (That's a Gossip Girl reference! My latest Netflix guilty pleasure after my son is asleep each night!) The service was exceptional. Our servers and bussers were friendly and the kitchen staff made certain to attend to all of my allergies. There was not a single misstep the entire meal and I am still dreaming about the tasting menu we experienced. I would dine here again in a heartbeat.

Dining at Le Bernardin in NYC

We left our trip with a new vision. What we want to achieve is not out of our reach. Our restaurant definitely needs some refurbishing...our outdoor patio has already been fixed up with an array of beautiful plants. We look at it now and think, "Wow. This was incredibly bare before. How did we not notice it?" We are in talks with a designer to redo our restaurant's interior. Change the lighting, bring a more rustic fine dining vibe, and all around give personality to our interior, so our aesthetics match our food. Our plates have all been upgraded to stoneware, leaving behind the outdated white plates. We have blankets arriving for cool winter nights on the patio and reading glasses for those who forgot their own, because it's the little things that wow us. And we want to wow you. We are also proud to announce we have an amazing new front of house manager, Jillian, coming on board to bring a level of service that we so far have only seen in NYC.

Aroha's new on site herb garden at our outdoor patio

The problem is, being cooped up at our own restaurant for three years, we've been unable to observe or keep up with what other fine dining establishments are doing. And to be completely honest, there is only one fine dining restaurant in Los Angeles that I can think of that provides even near the same level of service as NYC, and that's Ocean Prime in Beverly Hills. Their service is consistently wonderful no matter which city you're located in. All in all though, Los Angeles has yet to do what NYC is doing.

But we're going to change that. If we continue down the path that we're aiming towards, you should be getting a taste of the NYC treatment right here in Westlake Village, California.

Change is coming.

This whole experience has been a rollercoaster for us. It's exciting and it's terrifying all at once. I feel like we're constantly taking leaps of faith to achieve our dreams and constantly letting our fears hold us back. Some changes we made early on were for the wrong reasons. Out of fear. Changes like trying to offer prices that competed with a local chain restaurant. Prices that did not cover our food (imported, fresh, and organic!) and labor costs. Prices that made it impossible for us to ever reach a profit. Or trying to offer mainstream food items like a burger on our fine dining menu (what were we thinking?). It didn't bring any customers our way by riding on the coattails of our fears. However, the second we started trying to make the food we wanted to make, our restaurant already began to improve. And that food isn't even showcasing my husband's incredible talents. His stress and fear holds him back from trying creative and exciting new items, and yet, every time he does, we improve. The problem with being a restaurant owner is that you spend almost 90% of your time focused on fear. It keeps you from leaping for your goals and showing the world what you can do. Sometimes, it feels impossible. Most times, fear has the complete opposite effect and instead of propelling you to make improvements, it makes you lose focus and fall behind.

New dessert collaboration by Gwithyen Thomas and Custom Cupcakes By Sarah:

Sarah's Chocolate Implosion Cupcake

Maybe some people find it ludicrous to try over and over again. I'm sure some people would've thrown in the towel by now. I won't lie: there have been plenty of moments where it just feels easiest to give up. Most times though, instead of giving up, you just need to reach a little (or a lot) further. You need to put aside your fears and go all in. You need to get up from the floor, wipe your tears, and head back up the stairs because maybe next time, you won't fall down. Maybe next time, you'll get to exactly where you want to be, completely unscathed.

Don't stop dreaming. Don't stop believing. Don't stop reaching for your goals. Not until you know you've done everything in your power to try. Then, no matter what happens, you know you gave it your all and at the end of the day, isn't that what's most important? Leaving behind the what ifs and the I should'ves, and instead (using our son's favorite word to get what he wants),

GO for it.