Don't Be Jealous of The Girl Trying to Gain Weight

As I mentioned in my last post, I lost a lot of weight while I was ill over the course of 4 months. Since I've been looking for weight gaining diet plans, I've come across a lot of rude remarks on the internet. There are so few people that understand that gaining weight is just as difficult as losing weight and that being underweight is also just as unhealthy.

I've read comments like: "Just stuff your face with McDonalds or a bunch of donuts," or "Yeah, yeah. You've got it so easy. I wish I had to GAIN weight."

It's incredibly frustrating and I wanted to raise awareness about this. Being underweight isn't a fun experience. I encountered months of dizzy spells, nausea from my stomach having shrunk, fatigue, weakness, constant headaches; you name it, I experienced it. I have a naturally fast metabolism which I've been trying to work with for years. Last August, I didn't expect to get food poisoning along with a parasite and stop being able to eat most food for four months. I didn't try to crash diet and I most certainly, didn't want to lose any weight. But I did. I lost 8 very significant pounds. That might not sound like a lot but for someone like me, that's the difference between feeling normal and feeling sick 24/7.

Contrary to popular belief, I can't just gain weight by eating a bunch of donuts. First of all, I'm allergic to gluten. Secondly though, and most importantly, gaining weight from eating junk food isn't healthy either. After a round with antibiotics to treat the parasite, I experienced an allergic reaction that led to hives all over my body for a week. After that, I was finally able to start eating. So what did I do? I did what everyone online thinks is the natural way to gain weight when your "lucky enough" to be skinny. I started having loads of sugar. My body soon told me that I had enough sugar when I ended up with oral thrush, candida, which is also a reaction that can be triggered after antibiotics. For those who've never heard of candida, it's an overgrowth of yeast in your body, and yeast feeds on sugar.

Suddenly I felt hopeless. I had tried gaining weight and then I ended up with candida. If you look up the candida diet, you'll find that there is no way to gain weight on this diet. You not only have to cut out candy, but you have to cut out every sugar on planet Earth (fruit, rice, breads, etc). If it's a processed food, it's eliminated. I tried this diet for two weeks to treat myself and I experienced a lot of horrible reactions. First of all, if you ever have this, do not try to fight it as quickly and as fast as possible. You will experience a horrible reaction called "die-off". Basically, the yeast fights back while you're killing it and you can get severe reactions. The worst I had was depression. Yes, depression is a side effect of this treatment. Most days it was so bad that I couldn't leave the house. I spent nights just trying to find the will to be alive. My sweet husband even ran home from work mid-day just to check on me.

Eventually, I decided I couldn't continue on this diet. Gaining weight was too important. However, this time, I decided to do it right. I added back in fruit and the occasional bit of rice (sushi!). I'm still avoiding items with processed sugars. I've been following a weight gaining diet, with the help of my husband. I've been calculating my calorie intake to make sure that I'm actually getting enough on the MyFitnessPal app.

I've only been on this new diet for a few weeks and I haven't seen myself gain any weight yet. Most importantly though, I haven't lost any weight and I no longer feel dizzy. I'm hoping I will begin gaining weight in the next few months but at least I'm eating healthy. I hear it takes time for the body to actually start building the weight.

I still walk around and get comments from people like "You need to eat lots of cake!" or "You need to gain weight? That's easy. Keep eating! Finish your meal! Order more!"

I can assure everyone that I'm doing the best I can. I don't need to eat cake and I can't just keep eating because my stomach is still expanding.

I'm sure it's really hard to lose weight but don't for a second think it's easy for us trying to gain. We all have different body types and our own challenges that come with that. Neither one is easier or harder than the other. They're both difficult, time consuming, unhealthy, and mind-numbingly challenging. The best advice I can give is to just eat healthy and take care of yourself.

For those looking for tasty meals that are low on sugar and high in calories, here's my menu that's in the works! The meals are being created by my husband, who is a professional chef.

Lamb Leg with parsnip chips, butternut squash puree and celeriac puree (682 calories)
Created by my amazing husband, Gwithyen Thomas.

My Menu

These are my dietary restrictions: Gluten Free, Pepper Free, Milk Free, and Processed Sugar Free

Click for full size

Click for full size

A New Beginning...

"The Hardest Thing In This World, Is To Live In It. Be Brave. Live."

I've been going over this post in my head, trying to think of what to write. I haven't written since October and I feel like it's time again. The last few months of 2013, were some of the worst I've ever had. Most of you don't know this, but I was very ill for the past 4 months due to a severe food poisoning incident at the end of August that left me unable to stomach almost anything until a few weeks ago. In the middle of October, during one horrible week, my grandfather and mother-in-law passed away. I was already suffering from uncontrollable weight loss and then I added on severe depression and anxiety. After a course of antibiotics, the initial stomach problem was fixed but it led to other adverse and severe reactions throughout December. Now, I'm finally eating again and slowly regaining my weight. I've started some new routines, including yoga and a weight gaining diet, and I've been working hard to reprogram my mind to my once optimistic and playful mindset. In the end, I'm hoping that everything I've gone through will make me a much stronger person.

I used to think New Years Resolutions were ridiculous. Like, if you weren't going to do something in the first place, why do you think you'll be able to commit now? But, this year, was the first year I didn't "resolve to not have a resolution". This year, I woke up on January 1st telling myself I would smile and that life was going to improve this year. I wasn't going to mope anymore and I was going to finally enjoy my life out in California.

Then it hit me. In the two years that my husband and I have been out in California, I never actually started a life out here. Before we moved from Colorado, I had things to do and close friends. I had my voice lessons, not once, but twice a week. The first year we were in California, we were so busy with a job that kept us from making any time for ourselves, that my husband and I never had the time to make any friends. I never had the time to take voice lessons. The 15 hour days, 5-6 days a week, I spent working on the computer, ended up leaving me with carpal tunnel, which I'm still suffering from. In the end, I had to leave my job and I left it to only discover that I had no other life in LA. By the time the first year passed, I felt so miserable in LA, that by the second year, I didn't want to make any plans because I figured I'd move from here eventually anyways.

I decided this year, what if I stay in LA? What if we don't move anytime in the next few years? I need to push myself to get out there and actually do things. Not just talk about doing things. 

Which brings me to my resolution: To make a life for myself.

I'm excited to say I've signed up to try out a new voice coach on Monday, I've started taking cake decorating classes, and in the future weeks, I plan to sign up for guitar lessons and krav maga! It feels good to actually have plans! I forgot how motivating that alone can be. Hopefully, with new activities on the horizon, I'll meet some new people and I'll also have more things to write about this year on my blog!

For anyone who's been going through their own personal struggles, I hope it helps to know you're not alone. Don't try to distance yourself from having a life. Get out there and become active. Take control. Let yourself live.

Happy New Year 2014 everyone! May positivity and optimism light your way this year.

Christmas 2013

Why "Hostages" is like "Gilligan's Island" in a Very Bad Way

There comes a time in everyone's TV show schedule that you ask yourself "Why am I still watching this show?" This TV season, I have a few shows that are like that. The one at the top of my list, however, is Hostages.

Hostages is like Gilligan's Island stuck in the world of 24. Why Gilligan's Island you might ask? Because nothing makes sense and the more you ask questions, the more ridiculous the entire show becomes.

Gilligan's Island had the nonsensical questions like "Why would the Howell's bring so much money on a three hour tour?", "Why did Ginger bring her entire wardrobe?", "If so many random people were able to find this island and get back home, why couldn't anyone else? Or why didn't the castaways just leave and hope to be saved like the rest of their visitors?" The beauty to Gilligan's Island though was that questions like that were okay. The show was ridiculous but that's what made it lovable.

Hostages, however, lacks the charm and goofiness that Gilligan's Island had. And it's an action drama, so I'm not saying that it should have those things. It really shouldn't. Unfortunately, the ludicrous situations just keep on happening.

Where do I start? Here are my list of questions:

• Why are the writers determined to make Agent Duncan Carlisle seem like he's doing this for a good reason? In my book, if you take an innocent family hostage, you are in no way a good person.
• Why are the writers determined to make any of these kidnappers seem like good people? What is with all of the "He's a good guy" discussions??
• If they aren't watching Dr. Ellen Sanders because, in their words, "they're not worried she'll try to run," then wouldn't that be a good reason for her to run? If she disappears, they no longer have a reason to hold her family hostage. If they can't contact her, what can they do?
• Why would Hilarie Burton's Samantha ever be attracted to Tate Donovan's Brian Sanders? I'm sorry but after her previous attractive TV boyfriends, Chad Michael Murray and Matt Bomer, it is literally torture on the eyes to see her with someone who looks far too old and not the slightest bit attractive.
• Who takes someone hostage and then brings them out and about to have an affair? And on top of that, send false text messages from the man to the woman saying he loves her? If they want things to not seem suspicious, wouldn't it be best to not have the guy sit there confused?
• Is there a reason the kidnappers want Jake to be in danger of being killed by his drug dealer friends? Wouldn't him getting killed make them lose some of their edge?
• Why did Duncan help cover up Morgan's pregnancy? Why would he care?
• Why didn't Ellen just kidnap Duncan's daughter and hold her until her family was released?
• Why hasn't Ellen gone searching at the hospital for his wife yet? I don't think she's thinking about leverage.

The ultimate questions I have about the show, though, are these: Why did the creators think this was a sustainable plot for an entire series? Wouldn't it have just worked better as a movie?

And my final question for all of those watching it: The show has awful ratings so what do you think will run out first? The show or the plot?

Watch Hostages on CBS tonight if you are easily entertained by ridiculous plots like I am.

Halloween is Most Definitely the Best Time of Year

For those of you who know me, you know I love to decorate for the holidays. I decorate for Valentine's Day, Halloween, Chanukah, Christmas, and any other chance I get: For example, my mom's birthday is St. Patrick's Day so I get to do double decorations for that and for Father's Day this year, we threw a Hawaiian luau in the backyard, complete with our own "tiki bar".

As much as I love decorating for all of these different holidays though, nothing will ever compare to the rush I feel decorating for Halloween. Every year, I wander the Halloween stores looking for the perfect decorations. Over the years, my family has collected everything from a headless woman, a giant skeleton bird, and a creepy scare crow. There are still so many things I would love to get and I'm sure one day, I will. Halloween is my yearly challenge. I'm always determined to outdo myself. My largest challenge is how far we can stretch the cobweb. Although, I'm pretty sure nothing will ever compare to 2011 when we stretched cobwebs from the tree, over the footpath, onto the house. Before the cobweb challenge though, we focused on entertainment. For our 2008 Halloween, my sister cackled from the bedroom window with the strobe light running and we blasted scary music onto the street. My favorite memory from that year though has to be when my mom abruptly opened the door before a group of middle school boys had the chance to ring it. They nearly fell backwards they were so scared. Last year, was mine and my husband's first Halloween at our house in California. Our decorations looked fantastic, although, they were somewhat destroyed by the Santa Ana winds. Being from Colorado, I'm still surprised by this. These decorations held up through countless snowstorms and yet could not survive the wind out here. The other disappointing part of last years Halloween was the amount of kids we didn't get. Although, my husband was quite pleased to have so much leftover candy!

Here are our decorations from 2011:

Here's our decorations from last year:

This year, I'm eager to start some new traditions. Here's my list:

• Interactive Murder Mystery Party: I'm been wanting to do this for at least the last four years and we are finally doing it this year! I am incredibly grateful that my sister's boyfriend writes Murder Mystery Theaters!
• Carving a pumpkin: Yes. I've never actually done this and I've found an amazing website where I can get patterns of Spike, Buffy, and Dexter - as I said earlier, I like challenges. Which means my first carving ever will be of someone's face. Yikes.
• Halloween Festival: I've never gone on a hayride before or walked through a corn maze or picked a pumpkin from the patch. All of these things must happen and we've decided to go next week.
• Make/Bake Tasty Treats: I love to bake and therefore plan to try making Carmel Apple Cupcakes and Pumpkin Cupcakes. I also bought a candy making kit. I've never made candy before but it sounds like fun!

My other tradition is watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I watch each of the Halloween episodes: Halloween, Fear, Itself, All the Way, and I throw in the episode Hush. If I'm still awake and ready to continue watching something, I switch for something light and watch the Halloween episode of Friends, "The One with the Halloween Party". Because I'm eager to expand my traditions, I've got some other shows and episodes to choose from too:

• Chuck: Chuck vs. the Sandworm and Chuck vs. the Aisle of Terror
• Castle: Vampire Weekend and Demons
• Psych: This Episode Sucks
• Beverly Hills, 90210: Halloween and Things That Go Bang in the Night
• Dawson's Creek: Friday the 13th and Living Dead Girl
• Party of Five: Personal Demons
• Veronica Mars: President Evil
• The Big Bang Theory: The Middle Earth Paradigm, The Good Guy Fluctuation, and The Holographic Excitation

The only thing I will never do for Halloween is go to a Haunted House. I know this is a big tradition for a lot of people but I absolutely can't stand them. If I set it up, that would be another story. I love spooking other people but I hate being spooked. Having people or objects jump out at me is not my idea of a good time.

What are your October/Halloween traditions? Do you watch any shows or movies every year for the holiday? What do you normally carve on a pumpkin?

How We Brought Down an International Thief

I've always dreamed of being a super spy. CIA. FBI. I'm sure it's from watching shows like "Chuck", "Covert Affairs", "White Collar", etc. My husband has always dreamed of being a cop because of his love for the show "Third Watch". This week, we got the opportunity for one day to feel like super spies and took down an international criminal. No, seriously. We did.

It all started on Monday when we went to Santa Monica Pier and got a Mix-It-Up Slushie from one of the vendors. As he swiped our credit card, my husband and I noticed him do it two more times. We didn't say anything to each other but we both thought, "We'll keep an eye on our bill!" Sure enough, on Wednesday morning, I checked out our current bill online. To my (somewhat) surprise, I saw a $2,250 purchase for plane tickets from Israeli airlines and a $10 purchase on Travelocity. I woke up my husband and showed him right away.

The first thing we did was call the credit card company, cancel our card and tell them about the charges. We could've left it at that - we weren't going to be charged and they would begin their usual "investigation". However, my husband and I wanted this guy caught.

First, we called the Israeli Airlines at LAX. They weren't much help and couldn't give us any information. However, the next call Gwith made was to Travelocity. The lovely people there heard our story and after giving them our credit card information, sent us the itinerary of the thief, along with his name. To our surprise, he was catching the red eye from Tel Aviv airport and flying to Los Angeles. We later found out that this is very common: someone out here steals the card information and sells it on the black market. Travelocity, of course, cancelled the ticket on our behalf but did not alert the thief.

From there, we decided to call the airport in Tel Aviv. The woman on the phone looked up the reservation and told Gwith it had already been cancelled. However, when he told her the thief didn't know and was on his way to the airport now, she decided to put out an alert to capture the criminal.

Two hours later, Gwith and I were notified that the man had been caught at check-in.

Gwith and I have also contacted Santa Monica Pier about the man we know took our details in the first place. The manager said he'll be watching the cameras.

For one day, we felt like super spies...taking down a criminal all the way across the world! Years from now, we'll embellish upon the story, I'm sure, and by the time we have great-grandchildren, we'll tell them about the time we personally flew to Israel as civilians and tackled a thief and hauled him off to jail.

If your credit card details are stolen, I encourage you to follow up and look into it yourselves. The bank and credit card company have both told us how rare it is to find the thief. 

I bet this guy figured we'd see the bill after he was long gone. Bet he was surprised!