The True Definition of You

It's funny how when you're a certain age, or when you're still trying to discover who you are, how you latch on to things to help "define" you, yet the only thing in this world that defines you ends up being you.

When I was 16, I was obsessed with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. If I could've become Buffy, I think I would have. I couldn't go a conversation without somehow connecting the show and I most certainly couldn't go a week, if even a day, without watching an episode (or a full fledged marathon!). I was obsessed with going to conventions, meeting the actors, and getting their autographs. I had to get prop replicas and always made fan music videos. Everything in my life somehow related to the show. If I was depressed, I was season six Buffy. If I was trying to work out my own teen years and problems in school, I was high school Buffy. My obsession with Buffy continued for a few years. Until one day, it didn't. Don't get me wrong, I still love the show. It will always be one of my favorites. But my world somewhere around 18 stopped revolving around the show and with each passing year, it slowly faded into the background.

Convention photo with Buffy the Vampire Slayer star, James Marsters, and my sister, Raishel

What changed? Me. My life. At 16, all I wanted was to escape into some fantasy world. Now, at 24, everything is so different. Back then, if I was given the choice to watch TV or go out, I would've gladly chosen TV (unless it was somehow Buffy related of course!). Now, given the choice, I would always choose spending time with my family or driving off on an adventure with my husband or working on some creative project.

It's ironic. At 16, I would've been the first person to defend why TV is amazing and necessary in life. In fact, I did so on many occasions with my parents. At 24, I understand it's entertainment value and to an extent, I still understand the lessons that a person can learn from a show. I mean, I did learn at six years old never to drink and drive thanks to Party of Five! It opens up conversations and it allows you to learn about different perspectives. However, shouldn't life do that? As a reformed TV addict, I now constantly wonder what good being obsessed with a TV show does. In the end, I feel like it can become more of a mask than anything else. Someone else's story that you use to hide behind when life gets tough.

I'm thankful for the people in my life, who without knowing it, helped me remove my mask and discover my passions and reclaim myself. Through some incredible life milestones, from getting married to moving to CA to opening our restaurant, I've learned that I don't want to escape my world, I want to embrace it. When things are complicated and I get scared of what's to come, I no longer turn to TV as my comforting friend. I turn to the people around me for guidance or support.

Our Wedding (September 3, 2011)

The truth is, no material thing in this world will ever define you. That's why our obsessions and interests change year after year. It's why something we loved one year may repulse us the next. Because truthfully, the only definition of you is what comes from inside. It's your thoughts, your feelings, your real world experiences. Everything else is just a mask. Don't get me wrong, it's okay to love these things and life wouldn't be life without having interests and hobbies, but the point is, it's also equally okay to wake up one day and feel differently. You should never let it define you because life changes and you're constantly evolving.

In the end, never lose sight of who you actually are at the core. Because that person is amazing and deserves to shine...and that is something a TV show (or any other obsession for that matter) will never provide.

Where Did "White Collar" Land on My TV Show Finale Scale?

On Thursday night, as I prepared to watch the White Collar finale, I was a bundle of nerves and excitement. I was hoping for the perfect ending and praying that it would not be another "Dexter" fiasco, or "How I Met Your Mother" for that matter.

I've studied TV shows for a long time. I've studied them for their patterns, their stories, and I truly believe that if a viewer loves a show so much, they should, without a doubt, know how it will end. The truth is, the point of the entire show should come full circle. You should know these characters so well that you can look at the finale and go, "That made perfect sense."

And "White Collar" was exactly that. The perfect finale. Did I see the ending coming? Yes. In fact, an hour before I watched, my mom asked me on the phone what I thought would happen. I told her, "I think Neal and Mozzie may steal the money. I'm not sure if Neal will take it in the end though. But I think he's going to fake his own death and then the show will flash forward a year later, show Peter and Liz with their baby, and then show that Neal is alive and well."

Do I mind that I predicted this finale? Not at all. I gave a lot of thought to the different endings, and truthfully, nothing else made sense. The writers were never into the heavy, heart wrenching drama, so they weren't going to kill Neal or Peter. I didn't see the writers ending it with Neal off his anklet working for the FBI...that seemed too "Beverly Hills, 90210", everything ends with a neat little bow. The ending "White Collar" gave was perfectly bittersweet.

Now, my main point of this blog post is not to just talk about my love for the finale. The point is, before I watched, I texted my parents (who were watching it before me!) and asked them, "Please tell me if this finale is a Dexter, a Chuck, or a Buffy."

Yes. I have a TV show finale scale...and this is it.

BUFFY THE VAMPIRES SLAYER

A Perfect Ten

Tears were shed. Lives were lost. Favorite characters died. But the battle was epic, the writing was top notch, and the characters ended exactly where they were heading. The tone of the show always set the stakes high (no pun intended!) and it was no shock that they would kill off some favorite, main characters. It wouldn't have made sense to kill Buffy because Buffy already died twice and came back. We all know she'd risk her life for the greater good. Buffy, since season one, had always wanted to be a normal girl. She never wanted to be the only chosen one with the weight of the world on her shoulders. And thanks to Willow's spell, she never had to be again.

CHUCK

The Full Circle You Didn't See

It took me a while to accept the ending of Chuck. However, once I accepted it, I realized how perfect it truly was. The show was never going to end with Chuck and Sarah running into the sunset together, quitting the spy life. That's not what the show was about. In "Chuck vs. the Honeymooners", the writers made it clear that Chuck and Sarah were spies at heart. But for five seasons, the other thing the writers made incredibly clear was that they were always there for each other. No matter what, they'd always come back to each other. Since the very first episode, Sarah sat down with Chuck on that beach and asked him to trust her. From that moment on, he trusted her with his life and she helped him become the confident spy and man he was meant to be. Flash forward five years later to Sarah having lost her memories. They're now on that same beach and Sarah is feeling as lost as Chuck was five years earlier. Now, Chuck is asking the same from her. He's asking her to trust him. Now, it's his turn to help her become the amazing woman she's meant to be.

DEXTER

This Is a Joke, Right?

Oh Dexter. As far as TV dramas go, this was the most devastating finale, EVER. For eight seasons, the show was about Dexter trying to rid himself of his dark passenger. It was about him realizing, or trying to convince himself, that he was more than a serial killer. Maybe he could be human after all. The show should've ended with the camera zooming out from his eye and revealing him on the electric chair. He had been caught, or he turned himself in. The viewer has to go with what they believe. But either way, he had spent this time on Death Row, reflecting on his past. Reflecting on what led him to this moment. Then, the moment he dies, he is finally, once and for all, at peace and rid of his Dark Passenger. That would've been perfect. But, oh no. They had to make him a lumberjack. And that was not, and will never be okay.

Those three shows are my basic scale. Of course, going more in depth, I have other shows I like to include too:

BEVERLY HILLS, 90210

Everything is Too Perfect

For a show full of crazy drama, they sure had the least dramatic finale! Donna and David get married, Valerie is no longer evil and all smiles with Kelly, Felice throws her daughter a bachelorette party, Kelly and Dylan are meant to be after all, and the show ends with them all hugging on the dance floor with the theme song playing in the background. This is the perfect example of what happens when you get the "happy ending" finale. It's just not right. Of course, I'd love to analyze how the show could've come full circle but for that, Brandon and Brenda would've still had to have been there. Since the show changed over and over again, I honestly don't have a clear vision on how this one should've ended. Maybe the writers didn't either!

DAWSON'S CREEK

This Breaks My Heart but OMG YAY!

It was crushing that Jen died. It was not something you saw coming. However, in the end, it led to Joey finally choosing Pacey...and seriously, what was more perfect that Joey choosing Pacey? The show from day one wasn't about Joey and Dawson falling in love. It was about can their friendship survive their hormones and the ups and downs of adulthood? It was also about Dawson's obsession with Spielberg. It was only fitting in the end that Dawson got the meet Spielberg and also could finally be happy for his best friend. Truthfully though, the show changed direction in Season 3 and became about Joey and Pacey. Dawson became the side character... Look, I'm going to come up with any reasoning I want for this ending because seriously, Joey and Pacey got back together and that is, and always will be, the only thing that matters.

VERONICA MARS

This Can't Be a Series Finale

The writers of Veronica Mars knew the show was most likely not being renewed, which is why this finale was so upsetting. The writers knew but they still wrote this episode as a season finale. It didn't wrap things up and everyone was left in a state of despair. Veronica thought she ruined her dad's career and Logan and Veronica were kaput. This ending made me hate the CW for the longest time and fear watching shows that didn't get proper wrap ups. Luckily, the movie wrapped the show up and I can now watch the series finale as the season finale it was written to be.

ANGEL

This Is the Main Purpose

I know a lot of people weren't satisfied with the Angel finale. But in my head, there were only two ways it could've gone. The way it did or with Angel shanshuing (becoming human). However, from the first episode, Angel's point was that he wanted to help people and he would always fight for the greater good, no matter what. In the end, it didn't matter if he lost or won the final battle. If he lost, that was it. The show was over. If he won, maybe he'd shanshu, or maybe he'd just fight the next battle that came his way. Either way, the final words, "Let's get to work", made perfect sense. There is nothing else he would've done.

Now...where did "White Collar" fall on this scale?

For me, when my parents told me the finale for "White Collar" was bittersweet, I'm not sure why, but I immediately expected a Chuck. Maybe it was because I was praying it wouldn't be a Dexter but at the same time, I didn't want to be devastated if it wasn't a Buffy.

I am pleased to say that the White Collar finale was most definitely a Buffy. Neal wanted his freedom from day one but he's also always cared about protecting the people he loves. Of course, the ironic part of this finale is that I don't agree with the creator's view on what happened. The creator believes that Neal went off to Paris to rob the Louvre because he couldn't change in the end. The creator also believes that Peter smiled because he's excited about the chase beginning again. Luckily, the show ended in a way where I can believe that Neal is helping the Louvre improve their security measures because he truly has changed. I can also believe that Peter smiled because his best friend isn't dead. That to me is how the show ended. And to me, that was perfect.

Dear HIMYM, I Almost Broke My TV Last Night

Before I go on a long, long, LONG, rampage about last nights "How I Met Your Mother" series finale, there will be plenty of SPOILERS so stop reading now (and probably get off the internet while you're at it) if you don't want to hear all about it.

As a fan, I've been an interesting one. I started watching the show in 2005 at 14 years old. In the first two seasons, I loved Robin and Ted and wished that Robin would be the mother. I remember bouncing around the upstairs hallway jabbering on and on about if the show played their cards right, they could be the next "Friends". Fast forward to season 5 - oh wait. Actually. I have a much better way to write this whole thing. I'll write it like that awful, awful, finale, jumping from year to year, going through the highs and mostly the lows, and then the earth shattering finish.


September 2005 (Future self narrating to my pet rabbit...I'm 14 years old in the flashback)

Narrator says: "Willow, I'm going to tell you the story of how I started watching How I Met Your Mother. My father had turned the TV on to this new show and I came downstairs and decided to watch it with him. It was a charming story about a young man on the journey to meet his wife and this girl he met along the way, later known as Aunt Robin."

May 2006 (15 years old)
15 year old self bouncing around the upstairs hallway says: "Robin and Ted ended up together!!! Awwwww!!! I wish that she's the mother!! But oh my god this show is soooo good. I think it could become the next Friends if they do a good enough job!"

May 2007 (16 years old)
16 year old self: "Aww man! They broke up Robin and Ted. I loved them together. Maybe they'll get back together? Or maybe we'll finally meet the mother soon?"

Narrator says: "Ha! Yeah right. Willow, this story is sure to start making you thump soon. You know how Robin and Ted broke up because she wanted her own adventures in life and that wouldn't work for him? Yeah. Just wait until you hear how the show ends!"

September 2008 (17 years old)

Narrator says: "It's now been a whole season since Robin and Ted were a couple. As a fan, I had been starting to move on...especially because Barney is now hopelessly in love with Robin."

Willow lies on the rug, happily grinding her teeth.

May 2009 (18 years old)
18 year old self: "YAY! Barney and Robin finally kissed! Cutest couple ever!! I'm so over Robin and Ted."

November 2009 (18 years old)
Narrator says: "In the fall of 2009, the show started to lose its luster. The writing became sloppy and the writers decided to break up Barney and Robin in a horrible, out of the blue, way. It was clear they just wanted Barney to go back to the way he was."

Willow starts to get up from the rug, cleaning herself, incredibly bored with my story. After all, I haven't mentioned James Van Der Beek once (Dawson's Creek is her favorite show).

18 year old self talks to my sister: "That was a horrible episode. They broke up our favorite couple. I'm never watching this show again."

May 2013 (22 years old)
Narrator says: "After the Barney and Robin break up, I had stopped watching the show. I wasn't enjoying the episodes leading up to that moment at all. However, as the final season approached, I decided to watch the final episode of Season 8. The one where the mother was introduced."

22 year old self: "::tears:: They finally are showing the mother! ::squeal:: I can't wait to see them fall in love. I'll have to watch next season."

September 2013 (22 years old)
Narrator says: "September arrived and I decided to watch the final season. After all, I'd been curious since I was 14 years old about who the mother is. I knew she had to be amazing and perfect for Ted. After all, every fan had been waiting years to see this happen."

Willow begins to sprawl out again in a blissful state.

October 2013 (22 years old)
Narrator: "In October, I was sick. Very sick. I had gotten ill from a food poisoning incident that left me unable to eat most food for over the next three months. After watching a few episodes of the current season, I decided to turn on Netflix and watch the seasons I had missed over the years. At 23 years old, I ended up really enjoying it. And, it was clear to me that the writers finally realized that the characters had to grow up and move on. Barney had fallen in love with other women, making him grow into a man that could marry the love of his life, Robin. Ted had been slowly learning about letting go..."

March 24, 2014 (23 years old)
Narrator: "It was March 24th of 2014 and Barney and Robin had gotten married. All was right in the world. Ted finally realized it was time to move on from Robin and that he was in fact, no longer in love with her. As a fan, I was ecstatic. Ted and Robin hadn't been an item since the 2nd season and all of these years, he's been learning to move on from her. The mother had been introduced throughout the season and all I had hoped for was true. She was perfect for Ted."

Willow happily jumps up, and does a binky in the air.

March 31, 2014 (Last night)
Actual me is shown (who's voice is strangely the same as growing up me, but not narrator me): "Willow, you know how I told you this was the story of how I started watching How I Met Your Mother? Well, it's not. It's actually the story of How I Almost Threw My TV Out the Window Last Night. There were so many things wrong with that finale, I can't even describe my anger. First of all, within five minutes, after spending an ENTIRE year focusing on Barney and Robin's wedding, Barney and Robin were divorced. Not only were they divorced, they were divorced because she was too busy working to make time for their relationship."

Willow begins to thump.

"Then, if things couldn't get any worse, Barney starts reverting to his old ways. He's no longer the man he had become because apparently, people can't change."

Willow thumps louder.

"They did try to solve that part by having Barney have a baby; it was a baby, of course, with a mother that we never saw. Still, it was a touching scene."

Willow sits still for a moment, unsure of if there's danger ahead still or not.

"Then, comes the travesty of all travesties. Ted rushes through the part of the story where he meets the mother. Then, she's very ill and we can assume she died."

Willow thumps three times in an angry rage.

"Oh, that's not the worst of it Willow. They then, flash forward to the kids. The kids announce that Ted has been telling this whole story because he wants to get back together with busy as a beaver Aunt Robin who has had no time to see her friends in the past 10 years...The kids are of course ecstatic. They love Aunt Robin! Even though she distanced herself from the group for nearly a decade, they know exactly who she is and call her Aunt Robin. Because yeah, that's realistic."

Willow's thumping gets louder and louder. I begin to wonder if there's a cat outside because she's getting so angry.

"Then, the show ends exactly how I always dreamed it would end... NOT. Ted runs after Aunt Robin with the blue french horn, ready to make another go at their failed relationship. I was so f&?!ing angry I thought I was going to rip the TV off the wall and throw it through the window."

Willow runs under the couch thumping up a storm until I make the story stop.

Present Day
I woke up this morning knowing one thing, this finale was possibly worse than the Dexter finale. Possibly. I said possibly. Not definitely.

For so many reasons, this finale was done wrong. First of all, Ted and Robin hadn't been a couple in so many years that honestly, most fans didn't care about them anymore. The Ross and Rachel saga of the show ended up being Barney and Robin. They had to grow up separately to find their way back to each other, all while knowing they still loved each other.

In the end, the entire last season was about Ted moving on. It was about him realizing that Robin wasn't the girl for him and that he was going to find love with someone else. After all, how could he ever meet the mother if he was still hung up on Robin?

But wait! He's still hung up on Robin. His wife conveniently died and now he wants his kids permission to date the real love of his life, whose last marriage failed for the same reason their relationship failed all of those years ago. She's too busy for a relationship. Yeah. This will end well.

I don't understand why writers and creators feel the need to make their series finales suck? Wrap things up, make the fans happy. We watched the show for years and we deserve a proper and satisfying ending. Lumberjacks, dying mothers, and the show actually all took place in the afterlife are NOT proper endings. Characters moving on, finding their true loves, and making the fans happy, thats how a show should end.

Before I wrap up, because honestly, I could ramble all day about how much I hated this episode...here's my list of My Top 5 Best Series Finales and Worst Series Finales:

BEST SERIES FINALES

#1 Buffy the Vampire Slayer

The Buffy finale was brilliant. The writers took some risks by killing off Anya and definitely risks my killing off Spike. However, they wrote it in a way where everything made sense. Anya died fighting as a human, the people that in the end, she respected because they'll die fighting. Spike died a hero. For so many years, he had struggled between being a vampire and still feeling the ability to love. Now, he had a soul and with his soul, he was able to make the hard choice. He died to save everyone. Buffy, got her perfect ending. The hell mouth was closed. There were hundred of slayers across the world. She was no longer alone.

#2 Friends

This is how every sitcom should end. Ross and Rachel realized they still loved each other, Monica and Chandler had two adorable twin babies and were moving to the suburbs, Phoebe was happily married, and Joey...well, putting his horrible spin off aside, we could all just assume he was living in Monica and Chandler's future guest room. The characters moved on with their lives but we knew they were all happy in the end.

#3 Dawson's Creek

Joey and Pacey found their way back to each other, Dawson met Spielberg, and the writers decided that they did need some drama after all and killed off Jen, whose baby was now being raised by Jack and Doug. In some ways, the finale is always sad to watch. Jen's goodbye video to her daughter is heartbreaking, as well as the moment Grams realizes her granddaughter has died. However, it was done right. The pacing was perfect and Jen's last wish for Joey to finally choose, was honestly the only way Joey would ever choose. And she chose Pacey. So life is good. Of course, if I'm being totally honest, they probably could've killed the entire cast if it meant Joey and Pacey would be together forever.

#4 Psych

Shawn's goodbye to Gus ended up being in true Psych fashion and was hilarious. Gus's reaction, even more so. However, Lassie deciding not to listen to Shawn's confession because he'd rather believe the lie, Gus running off to San Francisco to be with his bestie, and Shawn proposing to Jules and the ring getting stolen - classic Psych. The show ended in the warm and fuzzy way a comedy should.

#5 Chuck

I know, this one is going to cause some controversy. When I first saw the Chuck finale, I was sad. Sarah had lost all of her memories and there wasn't a giant flare going off at the end saying she got it back. However, after re-watching the entire show, I've come to the conclusion that the ending was beautiful. For five years, the show revolved around Sarah helping Chuck find himself. Chuck and Sarah fell in love because she gave him the strength to discover who he was. In the end, he had the same chance to do the same for her. It was his turn to help her rediscover who she was. It was his turn to lead her on the same journey she led him on.

SERIES FINALES THAT FALL IN BETWEEN

#6 Angel

I liked the Angel finale. I thought it ended well actually. We never knew how the fight ended but Angel went out doing exactly what he had always been doing, fighting for the greater good. Whether he won the battle or lost the battle, it didn't ultimately matter. That being said, we at least deserved to know who the prophecy was about! Was he going to become human finally? Or was Spike going to become human? Wesley's death was sad, but perfect...and Gunn, well, I hope he survived the battle but I guess we'll never know...unless you read the comics of course!

#7 Veronica Mars

Thank god for fan made movies, right? After the original finale, I was depressed for a very long time. It was fine as a season finale. More than adequate. However, as a series finale, it was quite a let down. Veronica and Logan weren't together, her father wasn't going to become sheriff...all around, it was pretty depressing. However, thankfully, the fans got a movie made this year and I think I speak for a large majority when I say, we got the ending we deserved. LoVe is together and Veronica is back to being a PI.

WORST SERIES FINALES

#8 Dexter

The whole show was building up to Dexter finally getting rid of his dark passenger. Sure, he went through is moments where he got worse, but in the end, he was realizing he could love and maybe not be a serial killer. There are multiple endings I would've found satisfying. Him and Hannah running off together with Harrison while Deb lives on with Quinn would've been the happiest ending they could've had. If they didn't want to do happy, Dexter could've been finally caught and this whole story could've been told from death row. Or, Dexter could've just died. Honestly, I don't care. Anything other than him becoming a lumberjack seems better at this point. That should NEVER have happened, and I like to pretend it didn't.

#9 How I Met Your Mother

What the #&?! I'd rant about what made this bad but obviously, you've read this whole post already. Excuse me while I go throw my TV out the window.

Cake Decorating!!!

For the past two weeks, I have been taking a cake decorating class at a local Michaels. I cannot express how much I love this class. Although, if you plan on taking it, do not be fooled by the ridiculously low price ($25) for all four classes. When they say you need to purchase the "supplies", they do not just mean the $30 Class 1 Decorating Kit. By the time you're done, you will probably have spent around $200 on all of the supplies. In some ways, I wish they just provided the supplies in class and had you pay $200 upfront. It would make it less confusing.

The class, however, is awesome. I've been wanting to learn cake decorating for quite a while now. I've learned a lot so far... and eaten far more cake than I should have. (I had been sugar free for a few weeks and was feeling so proud).

For the class, you have to bring your own cakes. I've been baking with the Betty Crocker Gluten Free Cake Mix, which tastes delicious. I made my very own homemade frosting for the first time and it turned out pretty good!

Here's a picture of the first cake I've decorated:

For the next two weeks of class, I will be decorating cupcakes and another cake. After that, I can't wait to sign up for the other courses where I will learn how to make flowers and use fondants.

My Love for Cake Decorating

My love for cake decorating stems from many years of my parents making and decorating cakes for my birthday. They never bought one from a store. Over the years, the cakes became more complex as I started challenging my mom with new ideas. As my mom started carving cakes, I ended up with awesome cakes that looked like The Titanic, The Potter B&B, Sunnydale High School (or West Beverly High), a Volvo C70, the "Friends" Coffee Mug, and The Auckland Sky Tower. Last year, my husband accepted the challenge and made a Sushi cake. It was so fun eating cake with chopsticks!

Titanic (15th Birthday)

The Potter B&B from "Dawson's Creek" (16th Birthday)

Sunnydale High School from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" or West Beverly High from "Beverly Hills, 90210" (17th Birthday)

Volvo C70 (18th Birthday)

Central Perk Coffee Mug from "Friends" (19th Birthday)

Auckland Sky Tower Cake (20th Birthday)

Sushi Cake (21st Birthday)

My birthday is coming up in February and I have no idea what I'm going to want this year... although I have been begging my mom for an Eiffel tower cake for years! With my husband and I heading to Europe this year, it might just be the perfect time for that cake!

Halloween is Most Definitely the Best Time of Year

For those of you who know me, you know I love to decorate for the holidays. I decorate for Valentine's Day, Halloween, Chanukah, Christmas, and any other chance I get: For example, my mom's birthday is St. Patrick's Day so I get to do double decorations for that and for Father's Day this year, we threw a Hawaiian luau in the backyard, complete with our own "tiki bar".

As much as I love decorating for all of these different holidays though, nothing will ever compare to the rush I feel decorating for Halloween. Every year, I wander the Halloween stores looking for the perfect decorations. Over the years, my family has collected everything from a headless woman, a giant skeleton bird, and a creepy scare crow. There are still so many things I would love to get and I'm sure one day, I will. Halloween is my yearly challenge. I'm always determined to outdo myself. My largest challenge is how far we can stretch the cobweb. Although, I'm pretty sure nothing will ever compare to 2011 when we stretched cobwebs from the tree, over the footpath, onto the house. Before the cobweb challenge though, we focused on entertainment. For our 2008 Halloween, my sister cackled from the bedroom window with the strobe light running and we blasted scary music onto the street. My favorite memory from that year though has to be when my mom abruptly opened the door before a group of middle school boys had the chance to ring it. They nearly fell backwards they were so scared. Last year, was mine and my husband's first Halloween at our house in California. Our decorations looked fantastic, although, they were somewhat destroyed by the Santa Ana winds. Being from Colorado, I'm still surprised by this. These decorations held up through countless snowstorms and yet could not survive the wind out here. The other disappointing part of last years Halloween was the amount of kids we didn't get. Although, my husband was quite pleased to have so much leftover candy!

Here are our decorations from 2011:

Here's our decorations from last year:

This year, I'm eager to start some new traditions. Here's my list:

• Interactive Murder Mystery Party: I'm been wanting to do this for at least the last four years and we are finally doing it this year! I am incredibly grateful that my sister's boyfriend writes Murder Mystery Theaters!
• Carving a pumpkin: Yes. I've never actually done this and I've found an amazing website where I can get patterns of Spike, Buffy, and Dexter - as I said earlier, I like challenges. Which means my first carving ever will be of someone's face. Yikes.
• Halloween Festival: I've never gone on a hayride before or walked through a corn maze or picked a pumpkin from the patch. All of these things must happen and we've decided to go next week.
• Make/Bake Tasty Treats: I love to bake and therefore plan to try making Carmel Apple Cupcakes and Pumpkin Cupcakes. I also bought a candy making kit. I've never made candy before but it sounds like fun!

My other tradition is watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I watch each of the Halloween episodes: Halloween, Fear, Itself, All the Way, and I throw in the episode Hush. If I'm still awake and ready to continue watching something, I switch for something light and watch the Halloween episode of Friends, "The One with the Halloween Party". Because I'm eager to expand my traditions, I've got some other shows and episodes to choose from too:

• Chuck: Chuck vs. the Sandworm and Chuck vs. the Aisle of Terror
• Castle: Vampire Weekend and Demons
• Psych: This Episode Sucks
• Beverly Hills, 90210: Halloween and Things That Go Bang in the Night
• Dawson's Creek: Friday the 13th and Living Dead Girl
• Party of Five: Personal Demons
• Veronica Mars: President Evil
• The Big Bang Theory: The Middle Earth Paradigm, The Good Guy Fluctuation, and The Holographic Excitation

The only thing I will never do for Halloween is go to a Haunted House. I know this is a big tradition for a lot of people but I absolutely can't stand them. If I set it up, that would be another story. I love spooking other people but I hate being spooked. Having people or objects jump out at me is not my idea of a good time.

What are your October/Halloween traditions? Do you watch any shows or movies every year for the holiday? What do you normally carve on a pumpkin?

Behind the Song: "Worst Date Ever"

Ok. I've been having a lot of fun writing about my songs, don't get me wrong, but I have been eagerly awaiting writing about this one.

Worst Date Ever.

I'm sure most of you have had one of those awful, awful dates where you pretty much would do anything to escape it. This song, is a compilation of two of my worst dates ever. I was on a roll the summer I was 18. There are a few more I could talk about but I'll save those for another time!

Date #1
Let's call this guy George, ok? George worked valet at a local restaurant (keep that in mind that he moves cars and opens doors for a living). When he picked me up from my house, he picked me up in one of those trucks with giant wheels that lift the car way off the ground.

I'd like to mention here that I'm only 5 foot. So, I come out to the car and he stays in the driver's seat! I tried to open the door from my miniature level and as I'm trying to open it (and failing miserably), he says to me, "Oh. That door is a little sticky. You'll get it." What a gentleman. Eventually, I did get it. Of course, looking back, I should've taken that as my cue to say "See ya" and head back inside the house.

We headed to the arcade to play some games before dinner and a movie. I want to point out that even though I normally am not very good at pool, I kick ass on a bad date. Like, really kick ass. I guess it's my way of figuring out some way to have a good time! On this date, I made one of those shots where I put the cue behind my back and sat up on the edge of the table. It was awesome....ANYWAYS, back to the date. Every time I made a joke, this guy laughed in the falsest way imaginable. Literally. He'd throw his head back, put his hand on his chest and say: "Hah. Hah. Hah. Hah."

After we played the game, he turned to me and said:

George: "You ready to go to the movie?"
My thoughts: Um. What? I thought we were having dinner. You said we were having dinner!!!
George: "Oh. You wanted to eat?"
My thoughts: Ahhhh!! Now I'm miserable and hungry?? This is no good.

So, I convinced him to stop at the nearby sushi restaurant so I could pick up some food. Of course, when we arrived, and as we were still sitting in his car, he said, "I'll drop you off. I need to go have a smoke." Oh, lovely. First of all, I'm not into smokers. Secondly, he's dropping me off to eat while he can go smoke? Again, what a gentleman. I go into the restaurant and pick up my salad. Since we were in a hurry, I figured there wasn't time for anything else. After I pay for it, I stepped outside to meet him and head to the movie. But big surprise! He wasn't there. I looked around, very briefly for him, and then decided there was really no point to looking any further. So, I sat down at the table outside, in the lovely 20º degree Colorado weather (Brrrrr), and ate my salad while listening to music on my phone. I can honestly say, this was the best moment of the entire date. I was freezing, my hands were going numb, but George wasn't around. By the time he arrived, 20 minutes later, he sat down and said: "Aren't you cold?" This was my proudest moment on this date. I turned to him, with numb hands, and said "No. I'm fine." After all, I was already numb and he was just starting to shiver! Needless to say, I made him sit out there with me for 15 more minutes so he would freeze.

Once we arrived at the movie theater to see Saw 5, he bought himself popcorn and a slushie. Nothing for me. We got into the theater and sat down. I really hope this guy didn't expect me to cuddle him. First of all, I mostly find horror films ridiculous and amusing. I watch for the special effects. Second of all, this guy? There was no way I was going to even lean near him. So, I sat in my chair and intentionally leaned the opposite direction. Part way through the movie, as a huge Buffy fan, I suddenly thought: "Wait! Isn't that Julie Benz?" So, I did what any normal person wouldn't do and got up, left the theater, and walked around the main room, looking at IMDB on my phone. When I discovered it was in fact her, I decided to go back in and at least watch the movie as a big Buffy geek. After the movie, he brought me home, dropped me off, and I practically ran to the door.

It's hard to believe that was only ONE of the inspirations for this song.

Here is Date #2:
Let's call this guy Steve. Steve was a waiter. Of course, while we were in the car on the way to mini golf, I asked him what he dreams of doing. It seemed like a normal question. His response: "I really want to lift boxes for UPS. But there's a lot of training that goes into it so I don't think I'm going to do that." Huh. I have nothing against people who want to take those kinds of jobs. The world needs people who do that, obviously. But, his drive to do it wasn't all that inspiring.

When we arrived at mini golf (which I paid for!), this was literally the fastest game I ever played. There was no conversation, at all. Once we finished, 15 minutes later, Steve turned to me and said: "So (nod nod, wink wink). What do you want to do now?" Ummm...not that. Being polite though and realizing the sun hadn't even gone down yet, I said, "There's an arcade nearby. We could go there." He disappointedly said, "Ok." When we arrived at the arcade, we went to play one of the machines. As we stood at the game, he turned to me and said, "Can you pay for this?" It was one dollar. Talk about a cheap date. So, I paid. I had to entertain myself somehow! Of course, since he had no money, he made sure we quickly went back to the car to figure out what else to do. This is the part where I felt a bit like a mother trying to talk to their child:

Steve: "(Nod, nod, wink wink). What do you want to do now?"
Me: "Do you want to go walk around the mall?" Window shopping doesn't cost a thing.
Steve: "No. I work near there so I see it every day."
Me: "...Okay. Are you hungry?"
Steve: "No. Not really."
Me: "...Okay..."
Steve: "So, (nod nod, wink wink), what do you want to do now?"
Me: "You know, I have some money. Why don't we go back in the arcade and play a game of pool?"
Steve: "Oh...okay."

When we got back in to play pool, he turned to me at the beginning of the game and said, "If I win this game, I get to kiss you." Ha ha (enter George laugh here)! Yeah, right. As I said when I talked about the last date, I kick ass at pool when I'm on an awful date. So of course, I won, and he missed out on his delusional chances.

As we left the arcade and the sun was just starting to set, I turned to him and said, "You know. I have a lot of work to do tomorrow so I should head home." He was disappointed but agreed to take me home. Once we were in his car and driving, he turned to me and said: "It's a shame I don't have my own place yet. Otherwise we could go back and watch a movie." Oh, darn. Bummer. Wait. No. YAY!!!! He's run out of options. Woohoo!! Or so I think... As we're driving back to my house, this lovely conversation begins:

Steve: "So. What did you think of me?"
Me: "Ummm..." I'm so polite. "You're nice. I just don't think we have a lot in common."
Steve: "So...how would you rate this date?"
Me: "Uh...."
Steve: "Would you go out with me again?"
Me: "Uh...you know, I'm really busy with work right now."
Steve: "Oh. Okay. Well maybe I can swing by later tonight and pick you up. There's this pool near my house. We could hop the fence."
Me: "Uh...I'm really tired."

Luckily, we just arrived back at my house. He tried to kiss me goodnight but again, I darted out of the car and into the house.

To all the women out there: What are guys thinking? I hope these guys grew up A LOT and have since learned the error of their ways.

So, that's the inspiration for my song, "Worst Date Ever". Be sure to listen to the track. It will be available on iTunes, along with the rest of my CD "Stepping Stone", on July 15th!

The Best 4th of July TV Marathon

Not everyone plans the same thing for the 4th of July. Sure, for some the holidays are all about family, friends, barbecues, swimming pools, yada, yada, yada. My favorite part of the holidays? Watching TV marathons. I do it every year for every holiday. Thanksgiving it's every Thanksgiving themed episode of "Friends". Halloween, there's nothing better than "Buffy". Christmas and Chanukah it's any holiday themed episode of my favorite shows. Valentine's day, episodes where my favorite TV couples fall in love. 4th of July? Well that's what I'm hear to advise you on today!

Given the theme of 4th of July is our independence, I think it's highly appropriate to have a binge marathon on TV shows where the characters are fighting for their beliefs. Especially the episodes where they rise to the occasion against all odds.

Here's my suggestion of 8 great shows to marathon or 12 selected episodes to include in your perfect 4th of July marathon:

Buffy the Vampire Slayer-

For the super Buffy enthusiast, power watch the show starting bright and early Thursday morning. As someone who watched the 4th season of Angel in just one day, I know it is entirely possibly to enjoy at least 4 seasons of Buffy over this four day weekend! If you don't have that much time on your hands, I suggest including these episodes in your ultimate 4th of July marathon:

S2x21/22: "Becoming Pt. 1 & 2"

No friends. No family. What does Buffy have left? Herself.

S3x1: "Anne"

After Buffy runs off to LA, she realizes that no matter where she runs, she will always be the slayer and fighting against evil.

S7x22: "Chosen"

The First may think it's all mighty and powerful but in this episode, an important choice is made that empowers each potential slayer.

Angel

If you're already a Whedonite, chances are, you've already seen it all. Change up your usual marathon and watch the first season of Angel and the fifth season back to back to really highlight the rising moments of our hero! No matter what, don't forget to watch the final episode:

S5x22: "Not Fade Away"

This show was about fighting for the greater good, fighting for a cause. Whether Team Angel would win or lose this final battle, it didn't matter. What matters is they got to work and they fought.

24

If you're going to pick a season of 24 to binge watch, pick season 5. Not only is it, in my opinion, the best season, Jack also came back to town from on the run because he needed to save the day once again. If you're going to stick with my 12 episodes marathon, switch to season 1 and watch these two amazing episodes:

S1x12/13: "Day 1: 11:00 am - 12:00 pm" & "Day 1: 12:00 pm - 1:00 pm"

It's impossible to choose just one and hard to choose just two episodes of 24 but these episodes were the only true ones where if it ended at 1:00 pm, Jack would have saved the day.

Castle

There is nothing better than Kate Beckett trying to find the answers to her mother's murder. I'd suggest watching the episodes that showcase Beckett's greatest cause and don't skip out on this gem of an episode:

S3x24: "Knockout"

Sure, Captain Montgomery was involved in some bad stuff way back in the day but he died a hero: sacrificing his life to try and save Beckett and put an end to the coverup.

Chuck

One of my TV favorites! Chuck is the perfect way to spend 4th of July. It's got comedy, it's got drama, and most importantly, it shows the rise of a hero, in a mostly non-supernatural setting (we'll pretend the intersect is a real thing). If you have the chance and don't depend on sleep, you can watch this show in four days. Hit the play all button and don't look back. If you have to pick a season though, pick season 2. It marked Chuck's change from a guy stuck as a hero to a guy who truly wants to save the world. Pick just one episode? Go with this one:

S2x22: "Chuck vs. The Ring"

Becoming the intersect wasn't Chuck's choice but becoming a hero was.

Friends

Amidst all of the other shows full of drama, you're probably a little surprised to see Friends on this list! Independence though doesn't always have to be about fighting battles and saving the world. For most of us normal people, this show represents what independence is truly about. Getting out into the world and surviving on your own. Pick your favorite episodes but don't forget this classic:

S1x1: "The One Where Monica Gets a Roommate"

Not everything you watch today has to be filled with explosions. Rachel did cut up her father's credit cards in this episode and it doesn't get any more independent than that!

White Collar

Neal may not be free but he's got a pretty sweet deal and who knows, maybe one day he will get to independently choose to be an agent with the FBI. If you don't have the 4th (and latest) season saved on your DVR, you can watch the first three, which are all on DVD. No matter what, be sure to watch this episode:

S3x16: "Judgement Day"

Will Neal wake up tomorrow and only answer to himself? Or will his independence still remain years away?

Dexter

4th of July just took a massive turn to the dark side - or should I say, dark passenger? Yes, Dexter is a serial killer. Yes. It's not good that he kills people. But honestly, isn't he just Superman without superpowers and a cape? He still kills the bad guys. Dexter struggles with his independence every day. He thinks he's without a soul and yet he doesn't want to let go of Harry's Code because he truly does not want to hurt the innocent. Enter your binge marathon of Dexter with the first season and don't miss it's concluding episode:

S1x12: "Born Free"

Who is Dexter Morgan? Is he a super hero or a serial killer? Dexter is always trying to figure out who he is but when given the choice to save Deb's life or finally have his long lost brother, he battles himself and his code and chooses.

Don't own any of these on DVD or have Netflix? Don't fret. There's always an "NCIS" marathon happening on USA, a "Castle" marathon on TNT, a "Star Trek: TNG" marathon on BBC, or if you don't feel like seeing people battling for the greater good in solid story lines, there's always the show where self righteous characters battle for their own greater good, "Beverly Hills, 90210" on Soap. If you're not into a TV marathon, my final suggestion is to watch a Die Hard movie marathon. Just skip the latest one and pretend it never happened.

Have a great 4th of July everyone!